Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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