it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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