i'm signing you up for texting rehab
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
