Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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