cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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