I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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