guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
