Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
