Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
