is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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