She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
