i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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