If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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