grandma shit on top of the toilet
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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