I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
COCAINE IS GR8
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
