Sry I called you an 8
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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