I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
