I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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