yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
