i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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