why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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