I love black thongs
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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