he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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