i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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