VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
