No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
