hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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