you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
