making cat noises will not fix the situation.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
