Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
