Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
