I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
