Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he shaved USA in his pubs
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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