so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
BRING THE BAGELS
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
