It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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