I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
