Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My pussy is not your playground.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
