Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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