The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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