Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
