just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
