people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
