its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
