So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just found a bag of teeth...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just got carded by a ten year old.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
