Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
