We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I think I just sharted jello shots
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