just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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