shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
