Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
