If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
