Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
